Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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