haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
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