well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
