I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
