yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
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Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
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He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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