There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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