i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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