a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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