lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
