so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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