They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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