I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
