Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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