It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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