im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
