Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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