I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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