I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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