do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
