Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I didn't notice because vodka
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
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