We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
