Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
