I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
