OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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