the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
