You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
They are going to name an STD after you.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
