Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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