He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
