Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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