I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
