did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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