Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
