where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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