There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
