i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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