Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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