Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
