vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
