is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
