did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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