So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Drake has all the answers
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
soo... how was my night?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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