I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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