...so i touched it.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
