whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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