Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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