JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
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i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
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And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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