Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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