Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
