Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
This is the high leading the old right now
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
