Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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