Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Can Purell be used as lube?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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