Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
