I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
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You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
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You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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