based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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