i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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