After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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