hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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