she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
