Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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