You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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