nut hugger
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize