They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
