i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
