this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
