Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
