arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
