My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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