i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
